Archive for the ‘Coalition of the Chillin’ Category

Hey Bill Oreilly…

…it isn’t funny how badly I raped you in 3 straight duels. It isnt funny how I didnt even have to cast heal in any of those fights(do you know how to shoot an arrow?). It isnt funny how you complain about me raping you with MANA MISSLE…. maybe I should use 100 fire magic spells so you would consider it legit. This blog post isnt funny. My small penis, Osium’s emo rage and this video are funny:

bill, I love you but l2p if you QQ about mana missle

So This is Long March…

…what a fucking shit hole. Btw, if we had a tournament amongst alliance leaders there is no doubt in my mind that King Mannus would come in last. While he’s a nice enough guy(with a now crushed ego) he really really sucks at PVP — although he did accept my duel request, something Osium of The Mercs is still scared to do.

Here’s my trip to Long March, thanks Arnold Schwarzenegger and Lord Azriel for escorting me and giving me handjobs:

Hey Mannus, How my ass taste?

Victory!

All I Do is Make Darkfall Fun…

….even for people who don’t play the game:

Yo,

I have been keeping up with the Paragus Rants blog and I just wanted to say you are a pimp.

I almost purchased DF after reading your post under the Alliance Leaders Interviews. I first read Man Anus’ post and immediately thought:  douchebag! Then I read your post I thought, “damn”, lol!

I showed that post to a bunch of my friends that play MMOs and they all laughed their asses off; and they had the same reaction – join the coalition and rape Man Anus.

I wanted to give you a congratulations after beating down the main douchebag of DF. If I ever decide to start playing, you will be the first person I talk to.

DF reminds me a lot of Star Wars Galaxies (pre-CU, pre-NGE) – did you ever play that?

~Jason

What have you done for DF lately?

 

 

Victory? Not yet…

It’s truly funny to see the cowardice that Hyperion has displayed in World War I, isn’t it? First they siege their own cities in a futile attempt at preventing the first battle of WWI to start(they still lost 1 city and 3 hamlets that day). Then this weekend after being annihilated in Darkfall’s greatest large scale combat operations to date, Hyperion continued to show us their gutlessness by attempting to “leave Hyperion” in order to save their cities. People may call me the DF Hitler but this Hyperion tactic is the same one the Nazis used when they fled to Brazil to avoid being tried for their war crimes — you cant try to exterminate a race(Yssam) and get away with it…

Hahaha Nice Try Tempest, Bloodfest, SSR but youre fucked.

The above picture shows the state of the Hyperion alliance at the time the 72hour offer for Hyperion and Yssam Coalition(Hyperion Jr) guilds to defect expired. These guilds at this point chose to stay on board the Hyperion alliance declaring their loyalty to King Mannus thus forever sealing their fate. Any attempts to leave Hyperion since then(especially after this weekends hijacking of 3 Hyperion cities) will only be recognized as signs of cowardice and will not spare you your fate. You guys are going to learn a lesson and be an example for every future guild alliance on this shard, you might as well man up and go down fighting…

CC vs. Hyperion(and The Mercs)

The CC sieged The Hundred’s city this weekend… and of course we took it. Hyperion tried their best(lol) to beat us, even spending 100k on The Mercs but in an evenly matched battle at the Terrible Company hamlet, CC forces defeated The Mercs + Hyperion twice and won the siege, conquering Andruk:

Why does Hyperion keep hiring The Mercs to fail? Sad…

If you cant PVP, get out of the CC…

I’m not an MMO King who wants to run a fantasy-land empire to satiate my desire to LARP 24×7 — I’m a PVPer who grew up on saved by the bell, 2 liters of coke, and making people rage in UO. I have no place for roleplayers and non-PVPers in my guild and I have no place for roleplayers and non-PVPers in the Coalition of the Chillin(CC).

If for whatever reason you find yourself in a CC guild and you realize that you’re not a PVPer you should quit and save yourself the embarrassment of being kicked out of the CC and having it youtubed for everyone to see:

Skip to the 1:40 mark if you want to just see me rape some guy out of the CC

Bundles of Sticks = Censorship

Why does the DFO forums allow members of Hyperion to “troll” as hard as they want in their desperate attempts to save their doomed cities, yet I get banned for 10 days for admitting that I am a huge faggot. If you guys cant hire forum mods that will be unbiased then its time to find some new ones…

I have gay friends, I’m allow to use that word…

Never Forget…

Never Forget:

-That Hyperion has been mass recruiting for their roleplaying zerg since 2002.
-Nine Eleven
-That while Hyperion has been taking many losses(both in game and politically) to the CotC, they still hold more assets than any other alliance
-That just because it feels like it will be fart, doesn’t mean it will be just a fart
-That if they were allowed to remain in their current state, Hyperion would simply try to re-zerg the server once the CC leaves for NA-1
-That pretzels are bad as shit for you, even though they seem like a healthier alternative to potato chips
-That both King Mannus refuses to duel me… then again, so does Osium Woof, leader of The Mercs

Let’s be honest, I’ve been a man of my word thus far and have already proven many of my doubters/haters wrong about me. I will continue to prove these naysayers wrong when I reduce CC holdings/size big time upon the true defeat of Hyperion… failure to do so would be dooming myself to the same fate that now awaits King Mannus, a server wide death.

Anything but pushing Hyperion completely off the mainland is asking for another 9-11 when NA-1 comes out

To the Aradoth Alliance…

…the CC respects your neutrality 110%.  We have been calling for Hyperion guilds to “wake up” to the reality of their situation and leave the roleplaying zerg that has dreams of shardwide conquest… all in the name of their e-King. Your alliance has finally heeded the call and as a result, this game stands to be more dynamic, exciting, and fun for everyone involved. Until Hyperion is finished, should anyone siege Aradoth, the CC will defend them 100% from any Hyperion backlash — you have made a move that puts this game and server in the right direction and for this you will be protected like my last gram of weed

Jesus and Mr. Thompson just smoked a blunt..

To the remaining Hyperion guilds,

Listen to the message in your heart — this game is more fun if you do your own thing and dont have to follow the rules(or better yet, a friend or foe list) from some MMO King who thinks he is the next coming of Alexander the Great. Sandbox MMOs are about freewill and doing whatever it is that lets you have fun — and lets be honest, this game needs to be more fun and less of a job as it is. I urge all remaining Hyperion guilds to follow suit of the Aradoth alliance and seek your own neutrality by breaking off your ties to the roleplaying empire that has taxed you to death.. and start playing this game the way it was meant to be played: with no rules

However, should you fail to leave Hyperion you will be doomed to a fate of destruction.. not just by the CC but by the entire shard(Cairn, Death, DUSK, and more). We will take all your cities and hamlets and give them to clans who do want this game to be about guild vs. guild, not the nutcup ni****dom we have now. You have less than 3 days to follow suit before you lose your cities… choose wisely as NA-1 may not be here for some time ^^.

tl,dr:

As a sign of good faith, Aradoth is 100% protected by the CC from any siege by Hyperion or other force attempting to zerg this newly established, neutral alliance. The remaining hyperion guilds have 3 days to follow suit or they lose their cities to be given to worthy, smaller alliances.

Mr. Mannus, Tear down that wall!

Coalition Forces assist Cairn Alliance in defeating Hyperion/Latin Alliance

As you have probably heard, Coalition of the Chillin(CC) forces led by Terrible Company Supreme General Sun Tzu assisted in defeating a much larger force of Hyperion and Latin Alliance members in the siege on SoV city. Hyperion/Latin Alliance initiated the siege at about 5am on Thursday morning hoping to catch the server  by surprise and add another hamlet to their massive zerg.

However they fucked up when they chose a member of the Cairn alliance to siege. Knowing that the Cairn alliance is made up of chill UO players and remembering how Hyperion loves to involve themselves in CC sieges,  Sun Tzu(with help of his terrible company leaders Slaver and Acidkas) mustered up a coalition force of about 40members. While they knew they would be facing at least 200 Hyperion/Latin Alliance members, they figured you can’t win if you dont try and headed out to help defend the SoV city.

The Hyperion attack came on SoV city approximately 45minutes after Coalition forces arrived… the result? The 200 or so Hyperion/LA attackers were destroyed before they could even get to the SoV clanstone, coming under a barrage of ranged attacks by the outnumbered but not outskilled CC and Cairn defenders. The Hyperion/LA forces(led by Hyperion guild: The Hundred) retreated in shame having lost almost half of their assault force even though they outnumbered the defenders almost 2:1.

Realizing that they now had an opportunity to strike the Hyperion hamlet that was used to initiate the siege, Coalition and Cairn attack forces moved towards the hamlet and started sieging it.  Within 30minutes, the siege was over, Hyperion/LA was defeated, and UO players(CC and Cairn) came out victorious again.

Props to Terrible Company, Awful Company, CC guilds, and Cairn for showing Hyperion that DFplayers arent gonna let some cape wearing faggot take over all of Agon.

Hyperion at their latest guild practice… lightening bolt, lightening bolt, lightening bolt!

Outnumbered CC/DUSK forces defeat Savage Alliance/Hyperion…

…it was supposed to be CC/DUSK vs. Savage Alliance. Savage Alliance refused to accept our terms of peace, instead they chose to ask Hyperion for help, offering many sloppy blowjobs to King ManAnus himself.

A force of 450+ Savage Alliance/Hyperion soldiers tried and failed to attack KGB city(the siege initiators for the Coalition). This failed assault left the BKB city ripe for the taking and allowed the CC/DUSK to shock Agon by standing upto an defeating a numerically superior Hyperion force:

The death tax is the only tax we’ll ever pay King ManAnus

We didnt want war… we wanted peace — Hyperion has started World War I and we’re going to make sure we give them every last bit of it.